Lolita Fashion and being pregnant

 As I've mentioned in some posts before: we are expecting a little human (boy!) at the end of January 2021! At the moment I am in week 19. For your information: pregnancy takes about 40 weeks, so that means I am almost half-way there.


Why I wanted to write something about it, is because I have never read something about lolita fashion and being pregnant before. My guess that is because either most people decide to leave the fashion at a certain age or don't have time for it anymore after having a kid. I will probably discover that later, but I can at least talk about pregnancy and a growing body while still in the fashion. That said, the things that I say do apply to me myself and I can't speak for every body (literally for different body types) because everybody develops differently during pregnancy and your size might not even have a lot of influence on it. I think your health and spirit do though. So keep that in mind please!

So here I was, discovered I was pregnant and (we are) happy about it, but thinking I can not wear lolita fashion for the coming year. Eh well, that apparently went differently. It is possible to wear lolita fashion still, yes!  

In general the body will start to grow visibly later in the first trimester, so after week 10 or so. A lot of pregnant women have a hard time in the first months because of nausea and hormones, and only start gaining a bit of weight later on.
Okay, it does depend a bit. The growth of the body during pregnancy is different for everybody. I heard from people that went a lot of sizes up from the start as well. And usually if you're pregnant for the 2nd time it tends to go faster. But even then, it is still possible to wear the fashion. Why?

• Lolita dresses have a sort-of hour-glass shape already, so that means that a bigger belly is not going to be a big problem, especially under layers of petticoat. For the bust and waist, some extra shirring might be useful at a certain point. 
• There have been a lot of options for larger sizes in the last years. Besides full (back) shirring, western and chinese lolita brands (and not forgetting Bodyline) have been offering sizes that go up to XXL for example.

I've been thinking I couldn't wear it, until I decided to try what I could fit and what not. Some of my handmade dresses are made with a bit more space than the usual brand-dress, or with fabric that has some stretch to it. That already helped.  My skirts don't fit anymore. That is because those usually sit around my natural waist (a bit lower than the dresses), and that obviously doesn't work anymore.

Can you see I'm pregnant here?

I still fit in a normal jsk with half-shirring on the back though! I did pull out the lacing-ribbon for more comfort (one could of course just extend it as well). But that is just a regular Angelic Pretty jsk for you. It says on Lolibrary that it has a bust of about 91 cm, but I can assure it was bigger here 😋.

Of course probably a lot of lolita's that are not an S/M-size know this already, so it is no news. I am glad though that it still stretches up a bit.
The same counts for petticoats, they usually are fully elastic, although I would not wear them the whole day (especially after dinnertime my stomach feels like a balloon haha).

During pregnancy what also might happen is that legs and feet get a bit bigger because the body saves water there in some cases. That could possibly be solved by wearing stretchy tights instead of otks. The stretch is better in some socks anyway, so it depends. For me at the moment it's not a problem yet. Tights of course can't be worn higher up on the waist at a certain point, but there are ones existing for maternity. Sure, they might be of a plain color, but you can't have it all. My opinion: don't let one thing hold you back.

For blouses, the ones with shirring are usually still good to go for a while. I have the luck that I bought some of Chinese brands in "L" size. Which is not a western L per se but do still fit me. There are also Chinese shops that sell very elastic crop tops that fit a wide range of sizes. Same here is with tips for people that are larger in size, you can also try western lolita brands like Lady Sloth or main-street shops to search for blouses that are "loliable". On the photo I am wearing something I found in a local thriftstore and has frilly accents, I got lucky!

All in all, pregnancy until now means I can not wear one-third of my wardrobe, the other two-third I still can. And I think that is fine. I don't wear it daily, but if I would wear it more often I'd definitely go purchase more items that are wearable for bigger sizes. I already did buy one dress that I can probably still wear for the months to come and looking forward to it!

Negatives?

Aren't there any downsides then? Well..there might be. this depends on how you feel about it and about the situation.

• Some people don't really feel well as much because of hormones and because 'growing a baby' costs quite some energy. Some days you feel tired a lot and just want to wear comfy homewear. Yeah the lolita style is not the most comfy one, that is true.
• Some people have a hard time adjusting their body-image or feel like they lose their identity because of clothes they can't wear and a body that so quickly changes. I can imagine that if you used to wear it daily, it is a bit of an adjustment, temporarily.

Other than that I can't really think of something. Above points have the emphasis on "some" though. And as you could read earlier, there are quite some ways to go around it so that you can still wear it. Buy clothes you like that do fit and don't let it get you down if you can not wear one or two pieces of clothing! 

And I guess indeed, a healthy body-image and mindset around a changing body in combination with your 'identity' is really an important thing. I know lots of people struggle with this and that is understandable. I've never told a lot about it, but I had an eating disorder about 13 years ago and I've gone through stuff and in the end learned to have a better relationship with my body and a healthy mindset around that identity is not just material/visible things. In some way I am glad I got through that so I don't have to deal with it now mentally. If you ever have troubles though, please go see a counsellor or therapist, your mental health is super important.

The one thing I was actually more frustrated about is the limited range of styles and flavours within maternity clothes here in the Netherlands. Even when looking second hand, a lot of it is like the usual standard middle-age women style or just plain boring (probably so it caters to 'everybody' so they can sell it better). It's okay for now, I wear normal clothes during working days anyway, and I might look up some bigger sizes stuff online that is more cute-looking. Also, wearing cute accessories helps a lot too. And luckily it is all just for a limited time. Of course I know that after having a kid, getting back to your normal size takes a while, and that is okay, but then at least I won't need space for a melon around my waist, haha.

I'm happy baby clothing is at least cuter than the choice in the standard women-department

Until then I am all taking this in positively. I mean, isn't it amazing we can grow a little human 'ourselves'? And how the body changes and makes that possible? I think it is pretty damn special, even though yes at times it might be hard (and I know it is easy to say for me as I did not have complications until now except for some nausea and some rare times I almost fainted because I did not eat enough before going for a walk, oops). The time we went to see the first ultrasound was a-ma-zing and every time after that was so cool. I know getting/having a child it is not for everybody, and that is totally fine, but I'm a happy mom-to-be until now. Having a baby is the best reason to look up and buy all kinds of cute baby and kid stuff! Not that you need a reason for buying cute stuff anyway. 

I hope that this posts will encourage any woman that is wearing lolita fashion and wishes to become pregnant, to not throw aside the idea to still keep wearing it as long as you can 💓!